The Quest for Manhood

   What defines a man? When does a boy become a man? What can a father do to help? These are questions that have been brought up in a class I'm helping teach called the Quest for Authentic Manhood (Men's Fraternity by Robert Lewis). He brings up the point that in this age there aren't really any official ceremonies to invite a boy into manhood in the West. He goes on to iterate how important it is for boys to have a marked occasion to enter manhood. He then gives the parallel of a page-boy promoted to a squire, then raised to a knight. This struck home with me as I have a love of medieval history. A page started out at 7-8 years old and was basically a servant to the knight or lord of the manor. This is important because an authentic man needs to know how to work hard and serve others. He then was able to "graduate" to a squire. The squire specifically served the knight and stayed close to him to learn more about what it meant to be a knight. Boys need to learn practical skills in their chosen field and basic life skills so they will be equipped to handle life. Then the boy would go through the knighthood trials and be raised into full knighthood. At this point he was considered a knight, yet he still went on quests for a nobler cause. Mr. Lewis made the point that men need to have noble causes to drive them to noble deeds. Now granted this is a romanticized view of medieval knights, but the picture is a good guideline, I believe, for raising boys.

   The working definition for manhood in the class: An authentic man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously and expects a greater reward, God's reward. We look through the Scriptures, viewing Christ as the perfect authentic man, because He was and is. He is actively advocating and protecting His bride (the church) (1 John 2:1, Romans 5:1). He accepted the responsibility of His bride's sin onto Himself and paid the consequences thereof (Romans 5:6-8). He courageously leads His church as the Head (Ephesians 1:22). He eagerly awaits the reward of His Father, having received it even now in part (Ephesians 1:12-14). Men need to follow Jesus in order to be fully authentic men.  

   1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." Paul also knew the importance of growing up. Unfortunately for our society, this hasn't really been stressed and so we have grown boys that don't act like men and fail to take the initiative in their own lives. I liked Mark Driscoll's definition calling this type of "man" simply a "boy who can shave." We, as men, need to take masculinity back both from those that would overly feminize it and make it soft and from those that abuse the power and become tyrants rather than noble knights. 

I say all of this with a heavy heart and knowing that I have failed in being an authentic man many times before in my life. I say this knowing that there is a high likelihood that I will fail again in the future. I say this knowing that I can trust my Lord and my God to give me the strength to be the man He wants me to be, and to raise my son well. All praise and honor be to His name.