The enemy within

There once was a man that lived in a desert home. He went about his daily routine, scratching what meager existence he could from the dirt around him. As he went, he stepped over a rattle snake and just kept going. Now you might think this odd, but he had become so accustomed to it being there that he barely saw it any more. He lived as if it didn't exist. He went into his kitchen and reached into his cupboard, right past a black widow's web. Again, without noticing, he had come inches from pain. But he didn't even see the danger. It had become too familiar.

Now you might think this an odd story, and it is. No person in their right mind would live with a rattle snake or a black widow. But how many of us live with things just as deadly in our lives? Sins that have become so familiar we forget how dangerous they can be? I recently read Thoughts for Young Men by J. C. Ryle, and although it was aimed at unmarried young men, I was still able to gain a lot from it. It's only 99 cents on Kindle, and the Kindle app is free on most devices. Or I was able to find it in its entirety for free in both Spanish (HTML) and in English in PDF format. If you're a young man, I'd encourage you to spend the few hours it takes to read and think about it. Even though it was written in the late 1800s, it was amazing to me how applicable it all still was. Young men haven't changed that much, I suppose.

The point of the story was to illustrate a point Mr. Ryle made in his pamphlet, that often we as young men, and I think it applies to people in general, allow sin to live with us. We don't see our pride or our thoughtlessness and so are trapped by it. I know personally I have a tendency to be sure I'm right unless given overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Even then, I'm stubborn to a fault and will sometimes just shake off whatever I don't like.

Mr. Ryle, as any good preacher should, points us to Jesus. In regards to pride, he points out that Jesus washed the disciples feet. This was a job reserved for servants. When you walk everywhere, in sandals, on dusty roads your feet will get disgusting. Yet Christ washed and then told His disciples they should "do as [He had done for them]" (John 13:15). "'Though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor' (2 Corinthians 8:9) ... Surely to be proud is to be more like the devil and fallen Adam, than like Christ."

I write about pride primarily because it is something I struggle with. I want to be right. I want to be well thought of, and accepted. I want to be in charge. But Christ showed me that to truly lead, I must be a servant. To be "right" I must humble myself and submit to Him. He warned that if I did follow Him, I would be persecuted. The world hated Him, and if I'm following Him rightly, it should hate me as well. To be "first" I must be last. Or, as we've been discussing in class, we need to "die a little, to live a lot." Or again as Adam Ford greatly put Jesus isn't the means to something wonderful, He is something wonderful.

I try to find myself as Paul, who, at the beginning of his ministry counted himself "the least of the apostles" (1 Corinthians 15:9) and yet near the end of his life knew himself to be "foremost of sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). The closer we come to Christ, the more sinful we look because we know more of the glory. Thanks be to God for His grace and salvation.

To Work

The first ten weeks of my class out at the prison were spent on different ways to win at home. Last week we started talking about work. Mr. Lewis made a great introduction by starting with the different drives and motivations for work.

The "lowest" form of motivation is working simply because we have to. Scripturally, 2 Thessalonians 3:10 states, "For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either." Working is necessary in order to live. 

The next motivation was supporting your family. 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." We should work in order to care for our own.

These two levels of motivation are not wrong, just not the highest motivation we can get. They are "paycheck driven." The next drive for work is "passion."

Next up the ladder was working to be able to afford a desired standard of living. Ecclesiastes 5:19 "Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God." Working can bring us reward.

Ecclesiastes 2:24 "There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God." Accomplishing something meaningful to you is another reason to work. 

Having a passion for what you do will motivate you to continue doing it. Philanthropy is another drive to work.

Continuing up the ladder, the next motivation is serving others with your work. 1 Peter 4:10 "As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as goodstewards of the manifold grace of God." We have a responsibility to use the gifts God has given us to serve others.

The desire to help others with our funds is another motivation to work. Ephesians 4:28 "He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need." 

Giving to those less fortunate than ourselves is a good motivation to work. The final drive we discussed in class, though is higher still. That of "purpose."

Advancing the kingdom of God on earth through our funds is another reason to work. Proverbs 3:9 "Honor the Lord from your wealth; And from the first of all your produce;" He should be first in our giving.

Finally, glorifying God and spiritually impacting people is the highest form of motivation that we discussed. Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."

Working for the Lord and rather than men should be the main reason to work. We discussed in class that the more of these motivations you have for your work, the more satisfied you will be with it. These final two motivations were discussed again in last night's session in contrast to how the world views work.

The goal for most workers is to get to retirement. By having this view, though, we miss out on all that the Lord would have for us in the here and now. The perspective that we have on work will greatly affect our attitude and actions every day at work. As Christians especially we ought to look at our job more as vocation. Vocation comes from the Latin vocare which literally means "to call." We are called by God, (Who, by the way, is seen working starting in Genesis 1:1 and continuing throughout the Scripture) to work with Him and for Him. So I hope that I can realize Who my work is for and labor accordingly. I pray that we could all worship Him through our work, whether we be CEOs or janitors. We must remember that all work for God has eternal repercussions and remember that "Whatever [we] do" needs to be "for the Lord rather than for men."

Strategic Parenting

I enjoy RTS (real time strategy) games like Age of Empires and the Total War series. I also enjoy turn based tactics games. I am a strategic person and I like to have a plan for how things are going to go. But for some reason, at least until the last few weeks, I hadn't ever thought about applying this to my parenting before.

Two weeks ago in class we talked about "strategic fatherhood" and had laid out for us a "game plan" for raising kids. The plan consisted of things that our children need to see, hear and receive from us as fathers. It also discussed the years in our children's lives that certain things became even more important. As an example, one of the things that our children need to see in us from the day they're born is that we love their mother. We need to see the love between our parents, and our kids need to see the love between their parents, in part, to know that love is real. Without that example, they won't (can't) know how men and women are supposed to behave towards each other in a husband/wife relationship. So, as Mr. Lewis stated in the last week's session, one of the greatest gifts we dads can give to our children is to love their mother.

Now I know that plans can change, and I am slowly, by the grace of God, getting to be a more flexible person. This is why the game plan wasn't anything like a minute by minute or even hour by hour plan for each day. It was rather a year by year plan that had general guidelines for what things would become important as the children grew up.

One of the things that stuck out to me both from the Quest for Authentic Manhood and Winning at Work and at Home was the phases a strategic parent will go through in their parenting style. As small children up to age 10-12 our children need coaches telling them what to do and how to do it. In the teenage years (not having a teenager I don't know the parent side, but I know from having been a teenager the truth of this) they need more of a cheerleader to encourage them on to do what's right. In late teens to early 20s the parent should act more as a consultant, offering advice only when invited in by the now young adult. Then, by 30 or so, the parent can move to more of a colleague position and be a fellow traveler along the road we call life.

I appreciated this explanation of parenting styles (coach, cheerleader, consultant and colleague) and how they need to change by age of your child a lot having experienced all of it from the child side, and just starting to get into it from the parent side.

So a large portion of being a strategic parent is taking the time to plan, and being willing to follow the Lord's will. Ephesians 5:15-17 "Watch carefully then how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise, making the most of the opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not continue in ignorance, but try to understand what is the will of the Lord." is a great verse to remember as a parent especially. A reminder from a quote I ran across today:

"Tomorrow is the devil's day, but today is God's. Satan does not care how spiritual your intentions are, or how holy your resolutions, if only they are determined to be done tomorrow."
- Thoughts for Young Men by J. C. Ryle

If you were wavering on whether you can start today, pray to Him who gives abundantly and do so. He is faithful and good.

I write all this knowing that I have failed as a parent before, but trusting in the grace of my God for the strength to do it better the next time. I don't have this figured out and am still learning as I go. But I do know the Word of Truth and will continue to look to Him, by grace, for how I should act in the life He has given me.